413. VEGETARIANS THAT ACT LIKE THEY'RE HOT FUCKING SHIT BECAUSE THEY DON'T EAT MEAT. WOW YOU AND A MILLION OTHER PEOPLE BUDDY. I DON'T THINK ANYONE ACTUALLY CARES WHAT YOU PUT INTO YOUR MOUTH UNLESS IT'S THEIR BOYFRIEND'S PENIS SO THE NEXT TIME I BRING UP ANY KIND OF FOOD, SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH AND DO NOT TELL ME ALL ABOUT YOUR VEGGIE WAYS IN THAT HOLIER-THAN-THOU TONE.
When my little sister was four, I was trying to teach her words so we’d point at things and say the other person is that. I’d point to the curtains and say, “you’re a curtain”. She’d point to the sky and yell, “you’re a cloud!”. “You’re a bird.” “You’re a trampoline.” “You’re the moon when it’s big and orange!” We’d go on for hours, labelling each other with things we were not. Then at one point she said, “You’re happy”. I suppose that’s why we’re best friends.
“When people are ready to, they change. They never do it before then, and sometimes they die before they get around to it. You can’t make them change if they don’t want to, just like when they do want to, you can’t stop them.”—Andy Warhol